Rough Draft #1

Ricardo Grande

ENG 102

After perceiving Jamilia Lyiscott’s live show, her stance on how she views her own language reminded me how I would communicate with my friends, family and colleagues. This poem struck to me because Jamilia speaks three different “languages” that she communicates with her friends, her peers and her parents demonstrating how each language represents and defines her way of being. One of the lines that stands out to me is when Jamilia states “So I may not always come before you with excellency of speech But do not judge me by my language and assume that I’m too ignorant to teach ’cause I speak three tongues one for each: Home, school and friends I’m a trip-lingual orator”(Lyiscott). Not only is this showing her language but it also informs ones identity.

Jamilia also repeats the word “Articulate” throughout her poem to prove a point of how she is coherent when she utilizes her choice of language. When relating to this, I don’t speak the same way but with a more formal tone to my parents than I would with my friends. When I’m at a professional place I tend to use proper grammar than I’m with my friends who would understand the way I’m speaking. When Jamilia was delivering her speech, the audience were all white people who seem to have their heads shifted not understanding her native language. This portays that being articulate doesn’t necessarily dialect to just one group.

  1. Did I clarify my point?
  2. Did I utilize the right rhetorical choice?
  3. How can I improve my structure?
  4. Should I add life experiences?
  5. Did I analyze Jamila Lyiscott properly?

2 thoughts on “Rough Draft #1”

  1. Ricardo,

    Well done: I’m excited by this start and how you’re integrating your own narrative with Lyiscott’s words!

    When you quote her in the first paragraph, I’d like to see you pick it apart more — why that quote? Why put that in your paper? Why not paraphrase it? Something clearly stood out to you about it that made you want to quote it: what was that? Specifically, about her rhetorical choices in that part? I guess really I’m encouraging you to expand on the quote and analyze it a bit rather than just dropping it without going more into it.

    As for the second paragraph, you open it with referring to her use of “articulate”, but I’d love to hear more from you about how, when, and why she does that; how she complicates the meaning of the word; and how that leads you to reflect on your own experiences of switching up your own languages.

    Overall, I’d encourage you to dive deeper into each sentence and really expand your work — I’m so excited to see how you choose to do that. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions along the way!


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