Essay 3 Draft

The comic book MS. Marvel is about a Pakistani Muslim girl name Kamala Khan who gets the power of Ms. Marvel. She struggles to figure out how to control and use the power but more over she struggles with the identity and expectation of her religion and her parents.  As a Muslim girl I know how she felt because our religion has certain expectation on what we should eat. We can see Kamala in the first page dealing with her religious expectation where she is not supposed to eat BLT. As I noticed on the first page, she has been staring the BLT sandwich as she had never seen it before where she says, “I just want to smell it.” When she stares at it, her eyes are wide open and thinking about how will it taste and smell. The word smell in the comic book is in bold which express her emotions of feeling toward her religious principal on what must be eaten and what she wants to eat. This scene takes me to my past where I went through the same situation where I couldn’t eat some of the foods like she does. When I was in the lunch room with my Muslim friends at the middle school, my stomach was trembling and there wasn’t anything at the lunch room that I could eat expect an apple.  I knew that an apple couldn’t control my hunger so I ate a burger which I don’t know what was inside it and it smelled very good. I couldn’t control my hunger so I ended up eating the burger which I know that I’m not suppose to eat it.  That was when I realized that I crossed my religion’s expectation but that same time my other Muslim friends were eating it. That time I was struggling through if I really should follow these rules or just eat whatever I want as others in the society does.  At the end I got caught by my parents, who are very strict in these kind of stuffs and it was probably because of my friend, which connects with Kamala’s situation when her friend Bruno told her parents that she attended the party at late night. At the scene when her mother told her it was Bruno who told them, Kamala’s reaction to it was impossible.  Her eyebrows were shrunk down and the anger in her face shows her frustration towards her friend’s behavior. This scene takes me to certain part of my life, where I was surrounded my parents and they were judging on me and asking questions which my answer wouldn’t be able to convince them or show them how I felt.


Three things that I want to ask:

1) am I on the right track and is this the way we have to do this assignment?

2) Did I analysis MS. Marvel the way we should analysis it?

3) do I need to include anything else?

Three things I like about my fan fic?

1) I like the way how I connected my past with the comic book.

2) Connection between me and the comic book flows together properly.

Three things I’m unsure of?

1) If I am on the right track?

One thought on “Essay 3 Draft”

  1. Farzana,

    To answer your most pressing question, you are definitely on the right track!!

    As we discussed in class, I really love the way you’re weaving your own storytelling with Kamala’s story. In the next draft, I would encourage you to make sure the weaving is a little bit more organized — sometimes, you’re jumping between your stories, and sometimes, you’re separating your stories. Either way — or both — is fine, but right now, it feels like it needs a bit of cleaning up, like you need to comb through it and make decisions about which stories you want to prioritize — your own, or Kamala’s. Which storytelling method is going to keep your audience hooked and wanting more? How can you grab us from the first sentence and hold our attention all the way through? You’re doing a great job so far, and I think paying attention to questions like those will help you really make this even sharper.

    You’ve got this — keep at it!


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